May 12, 2009
Chuck Norris Java jokes
There’s a long list of Chuck Norris Java jokes. Most are pretty lame, but I liked a few, including:
- Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
- Garbage collector only runs on Chuck Norris code to collect the bodies.
Comments
2 Responses to “Chuck Norris Java jokes”
Leave a Reply
Search our blogs and white papers
Monash Research blogs
- DBMS 2 covers database management, analytics, and related technologies.
- Text Technologies covers text mining, search, and social software.
- Strategic Messaging analyzes marketing and messaging strategy.
- The Monash Report examines technology and public policy issues.
- Software Memories recounts the history of the software industry.
User consulting
Building a short list? Refining your strategic plan? We can help.
Vendor advisory
We tell vendors what's happening -- and, more important, what they should do about it.
Monash Research highlights
Learn about white papers, webcasts, and blog highlights, by RSS or email. |
-
Recent posts
-
Categories
- About this blog
- Analytic glossary
- Analytic technologies
- Application areas
- Buying processes
- Companies and products
- 1010data
- Ab Initio Software
- Actian and Ingres
- Aerospike
- Akiban
- Aleri and Coral8
- Algebraix
- Alpha Five
- Amazon and its cloud
- ANTs Software
- Aster Data
- Ayasdi
- Basho and Riak
- Business Objects
- Calpont
- Cassandra
- Cast Iron Systems
- Cirro
- Citus Data
- ClearStory Data
- Cloudant
- Cloudera
- Clustrix
- Cogito and 7 Degrees
- Cognos
- Continuent
- Couchbase
- CouchDB
- Databricks, Spark and BDAS
- DATAllegro
- Datameer
- DataStax
- Dataupia
- dbShards and CodeFutures
- Elastra
- EMC
- Endeca
- EnterpriseDB and Postgres Plus
- Exasol
- Expressor
- FileMaker
- GenieDB
- Gooddata
- Greenplum
- Groovy Corporation
- Hadapt
- Hadoop
- HBase
- Hortonworks
- HP and Neoview
- IBM and DB2
- illuminate Solutions
- Infobright
- Informatica
- Information Builders
- Inforsense
- Intel
- Intersystems and Cache'
- Jaspersoft
- Kafka and Confluent
- Kalido
- Kaminario
- Kickfire
- Kognitio
- KXEN
- MapR
- MarkLogic
- McObject
- memcached
- MemSQL
- Metamarkets and Druid
- Microsoft and SQL*Server
- MicroStrategy
- MonetDB
- MongoDB
- MySQL
- Neo Technology and Neo4j
- Netezza
- NuoDB
- Nutonian
- Objectivity and Infinite Graph
- Oracle
- Oracle TimesTen
- ParAccel
- Pentaho
- Pervasive Software
- PivotLink
- Platfora
- PostgreSQL
- Progress, Apama, and DataDirect
- QlikTech and QlikView
- Rainstor
- Revolution Analytics
- Rocana
- salesforce.com
- SAND Technology
- SAP AG
- SAS Institute
- ScaleBase
- ScaleDB
- Schooner Information Technology
- SciDB
- SenSage
- SequoiaDB
- SnapLogic
- Software AG
- solidDB
- Splunk
- Starcounter
- StreamBase
- Sybase
- Syncsort
- Tableau Software
- Talend
- Teradata
- Tokutek and TokuDB
- Truviso
- VectorWise
- Vertica Systems
- VoltDB and H-Store
- WibiData
- Workday
- Xkoto
- XtremeData
- Yarcdata and Cray
- Zettaset
- Zoomdata
- Data integration and middleware
- Data types
- DBMS product categories
- Emulation, transparency, portability
- Fun stuff
- Market share and customer counts
- Memory-centric data management
- Michael Stonebraker
- Parallelization
- Presentations
- Pricing
- Public policy
- Software as a Service (SaaS)
- Specific users
- Storage
- Theory and architecture
- TransRelational
- Uncategorized
-
Date archives
-
Links
-
Admin
but what about: “If you get a ChuckNorrisException you’ll probably die.” 😉
It’s not Java, but:
Chuck Norris does not mark to market. The market marks to Chuck Norris.